Disgracewich


My brother is smart. He has passed the bar in 3 states. He claims he has brains and he says that he knows how to make a sandwich….

Would someone who has any devotion to sandwiches do this?

He left an untoasted peanut butter and jelly in a plastic bag in the fridge…. There is barely any jelly on it…

Rating: fail

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PB&J is not a true sandwich…. or is it?


So according to my definition, a sandwich must have the outside containing a bread substance, layers, and something substantial on the inside….. but where does that leave the classic Grape Jam and Jiffy Peanut Butter? While many may agree that a PB&J is the most classic of all sandwiches, I have some arguments for you….
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Sandwich in a can? Yep, its a Candwich!


This was sent to me with a question about whether or not this topic was blog-worthy!? I think that anyone who tries to market a sandwich in a can should be given a medal, and praised for all eternity……………………. NOT!!!!! i cannot believe that someone would think that a sandwich in a can would be a good idea. I mean, yes, I am all for sandwich protectors and rubbermaid containers to hold your sandwiches, but at the same time, I never suggested that they be processed and jammed into cans! I suppose that I should not knock it until I try it, but my guess is that it is probably pretty terrible. They say it has a long live on their Website, which means it is most likely full of preservatives and other fake food imposters.

The idea is to market it to active people on the go, who might not have time to sit down and grab an actual sandwich. My question is, if these people are in dire need of a sandwich in a can, how concerned about their health are they? How concerned about freshness are they? It seems to me that even gas station sandwiches are more fresh than something that has been shoved into a can and shipped around the world.

What do you think about the candwich idea? I would be really interested in seeing how this is produced, and how they are getting this past the FDA? how does the bread not get soggy? or stale? this idea of a sandwich in a can really takes marketing sandwich protectors to a new level. Don’t forget to do a little search for Candwich and find out about the lawsuit that they are going through for stealing money to fund this investment…

A breakfast concoction, ‘Merican Style


What is more American than cornbread, American Cheese, Fried Eggs, and more cornbread? Dunkin Donuts. And Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee.
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Cheese and Fruit doesn’t have to be on a plate by itself


If you go to a fancy restuarant, they always have fancy cheese platters with fruits and jams and stuff like Brie. They always serve them with crackers, and people think that it is ok to mix the cheese, the fruit and the cracker, but when you go to put it on a sandwich, people look at you funny. I mean, it is perfectly natural to want to make a sandwich out of these things.

The other day I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but when I opened up the fridge, I realized I had a nice fresh block of monteray jack cheese in there that I hadn’t given any attention to in a while. I already had the jelly in my hand from the desire for the PB&J, so i stuck with it. While poking my head in the fridge, I came across some roasted red peppers, as well as a couple of lettuce pieces that looked sad in the drawer.

I decided to see what I could do…..
Toasted 7 grain bread
Boysenberry Jam on one side.
5 slices of Monteray Jack Cheese (little slices, not the horizontal way)
1 Roasted Red Pepper
Some crushed mint and a couple of cilantro leaves
2 Pieces of lettuce
12 walnuts
Other piece of bread.

It was a tasty sandwich, which was totally blog worthy for a couple of reasons. 1: desires can change; go with it.. you never know what you will end up with. it could have been terrible, but it worked out. 2: it worked out because it was done in the right way. If you put the peppers right next to the jelly, it would have been terrible. if you put the walnuts next to the cheese it could have been ok, but walnuts and jam could be bad. Cheese and jam is good. Cheese and peppers are good. Peppers and mint is good, peppers and cilantro good. Boysenberry and cilantro-bad. walnuts + bread= good. Lettuce + Jam= bad.

see, there are a lot of combinations against you in this sandwich, but in the end it worked out!
Mangia!

Bagel Sandwiches


Bagel Sandwiches always amuse me… growing up in a culture where bagels, loxs and cream cheese are staples of the diet on saturday brunch, it makes me chuckle when I see sandwiches on a bagel. First of all, why would someone want to waste a perfectly good bagel and make a sandwich out of it. Part of the fun of eating a bagel is getting to split it open and eat each half individually. Secondly, bagels have holes in them. They are not biali’s, that is for sure.

So I will let slide and egg and cheese on a bagel, but i prefer said sandwich on a croissant or a biscuit. But the reason I will let it slide is because nothing will fall through the hole with an egg and cheese on a bagel, assuming it is cooked right. But that leads me to one of three reasons I do not like bagel sandwiches.

1. The Bagels takes too much away from the sandwich: A good bagel is something that should be enjoyed by itself, where the flavors of the bagel can really come through. The soft chewy inside, surrounded by the slightly thicker yet soft outside. Put some butter, some cream cheese, or even a little bit of jam or peanut butter on there and it is pretty darn filling. If you are using the bagel to make a sandwich because you are trying to either use up the bagel, or it is not worth eating on its own, then you are doing the sandwich injustice. If it is a bad bagel, it will be tough, too chewy, or too hard. Either way, good or bad, the bagel will overpower the sandwich.

2. The hole in the bagel: Things poke out of it. Yes, meats and cheeses will not poke out of the hole, but unless you totally contain the veggies, etc that you would normally put on the sandwich, things will either pop out or drip out of the sandwich. Seepage is not a good thing, and if you are using a sauce, you will surely drip somewhere. It will probably not be on the plate either. If you cover up the hole, then you are suffocating the inside of the sandwich, your sauce will either drip out on top of everything, or as soon as you bite enough to have an overlap on the hole, it will drip out.

3. The Small Surface Area: Unless it is a huge NY bagel, the surface area on the sandwich is going to be too small to get everything you want on there. The lack of corners reduces about 30% of the real-estate that you would find on a normal sandwich. This means that everything is jammed in there, or you cut down on the insides of the sandwich so that you don’t have spillage. When you cut down on the insides, the bread (bagel) to filling ratio is way off. You end up with either a mouthful of bagel with nothing in it, or a mouthful of insides without the bread. Then you have to over compensate, so you never get a really good feel for the sandwich as a whole.

The only exceptions are breakfast sandwiches if they are kept very simple, or peanut butter and honey sandwiches, where the ingredients are spread thin. PB&J will surely find a way to drip out of the sandwich, so be prepared. Bagel pizzas are also not good to try and make sandwiches out of.

How it all begins


So to make a sandwich, you need 2 major ingredients, right?  bread, and something to put between the bread.  A lot of people think that this is pretty simple, but let me give you a little scenario here.

You have 2 people, with the same ingredients; bread, peanut butter, jelly, and butter.  You ask them each to make a sandwich, but what do you end up with?

Person 1: Takes out the pre-cut slices of bread, slabs on some peanut butter and some jelly on the other side, slaps them together, and cuts in half. that is the typical reaction to making a sandwich.

Person 2: This person looks at their watch, and notices that it is only 10:30am.  In an effort to make a sandwich that more suites the time of day, he slices off a couple of thin slices from his loaf of bread, toasts them, applies a healthy amount of jelly, a decent spread of butter, and leaves the peanut butter for later.  The jelly and butter combined with the warm toasted bread (golden, not burnt) will add a slight crunch to the texture, but the soaked in butter will bring forth the creamy flavors in the sandwich. The cool jelly will act as a secondary sensual feeling as the sweetness hits your tounge.  In another hour, person 2 will slice off another couple of pieces of bread, toast those, and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with crunchy peanut butter for extra sandwichy goodness.

Now which one do you want?  I would prefer to have Person 2 making my sandwiches.  If you have to compromise, here are some good tips to making a perfect PB&J sandwich:

  1. Good bread; It makes a difference.  Today I had a PB&J on Jewish Rye.  It is better for you, it has more flavor, you get some crunch out of the seeds, and it looks better.  Good breads for PB&J are Rye, Whole Wheats, Oat Breads, or Mulit-grain breads.  Sourdoughs, fruit breads, and breakfast breads have too strong of flavors.
  2. Toast it to perfection: A lightly toasted piece of bread does wonders for sandwiches, especially if you are taking them on a trip somewhere.  Some people prefer soggy sandwiches, but I do not.  i would like to be able to take my sandwich out of its plastic sandwich sized bag and eat it like it was meant to be eaten. I don’t want to have to turn the bag inside out and suck the sandwich off the plastic.  Toasting helps because it takes some of the moisture out of the bread, so when the jelly soaks in, it isn’t over saturated. it also adds a nice crispy crunch which feels satisfying to bite into.
  3. A good balance of ingredients: Not too heavy, not too light.  If you go too heavy on the jelly, it falls off the side. Too much peanut butter, and you are licking the roof of your mouth for 3 hours.  Find what you like and stick with it.

Now that you know a couple of the secrets about making a good PB&J, you can go try it for yourself!